New Start

2014 has been a very rough and tough year for me. I tripped. I fell. I cried. I thought of endless pain. But.. I learned. I stand up. I felt loved. Now I can say that I am much.. Very much stronger than before. That same year an angel came through me to complete my life. The reason why I'm struggling to prove something to anybody. The reason why I want to win in this battle of life. The reason why I want to live. The reason why I found my forever. Yes! Now I have a real angel with me. My daughter!

Noon akala ko hindi ko kakayanin.. Akala ko pagnakita ko sya mahihirapan akong magadjust. Pero when I held her in my arms naiyak na lang ako.. Kasi sabi ko "finally. Magkakaron na ng reason lahat ng bagay sa buhay ko." MY REASON FOR EVERYTHING! Simula ng dumating sya everyday akong nagpapasalamat kay G kasi He gave me the most wonderful and most priceless blessing I could ever have. That is why I am eternally grateful. Alam ko naman na hindi ako magiging perfect mom. Pero para sakanya handa ako magsacrifice kahit gaano pa kahirap yon. Kasi kagaya ng palagi kong sinasabi EVERYTHING IS WORTH IT AS LONG AS IT'S FOR MY KHALIL.

As 2015 opened a new chapter of my life.. Dun ko narealized lahat ng mga bagay na natake for granted ko noon. Dun ko din nalaman at naramdaman na I am super and beyond blessed. I have friends na never ako iniwan at tinalikuran. I have my family na never ako pinabayaan at never napagod na suportahan ako. Specially my mommy. Because of what happened dun ko naramdaman ng todo how much my mommy loves me. Kahit na madami kaming issues.. Never did once she turned her back on me. Kahit super laki ng nagawa kong kasalanan at super laki kong disappointment sknya.

And lastly I have my khalil now. Yung makakasama ko gang tumanda ako. I will do my best para magampanan yung pagiging mommy at daddy nya all at the same time. Gusto ko lumaki si khalil na close as in tight yung closeness namin. Like we share secrets how deep or how shallow it may be.

My world is now revolving for Khalil. But ofcouse for G! Sabi nga nila people come and go. Ang through those years I proved them right. Kasi madami man akong na gain na friends before.. Pero madami ding nawala nun panahong I am at my weakest. At thankful ako kasi lahat ng natira saken yung alam kong never akong ijjudged kahit pa gaano ako kasira ulo at kahit gaano pa ko kabaliw. Hindi ko na iniisip yung past ngayon kasi sabi nga nila it cannot be changed. I need to move forward and just accept it all.

All I wanted to do is to give my daughter a peaceful environment that's full of happiness. Magagawa ko lang yun kung nakalimutan at natanggap ko na sa sarili ko lahat ng mga nagawa kong kasalanan. Di ba nga before you learn to forgive others.. Learn first to forgive yourself.

Now.. I am opening a new chapter of my story. Pero ngayon iba na yung prologue.. Kasi I have my khalil now and nobody could take her away from me. Because of her I feel complete every single day. ❤

Thank you so much Bro for having her in my life. Kung hindi Mo binigay sa akin si Khalil malamang happy go lucky pa din ako until now. Yung immature, walang direction, walang pangarap. Now that she's here. Everything made sense. 😍